Going Abroad: How to Maintain Relationships While 10,879 Miles Apart

As the end of the year rapidly approaches many sophomores are preparing to say good-bye to Emory not just for the summer but for an entire semester after that. For many, the prospect of saying good-bye to roommates, friends, and boyfriends/girlfriends for the next 8 months may be stressful, traumatic, and tense. Additionally, there may be an element of anxiety and uncertainty about how relationships may change in this time span. What if my boyfriend goes abroad and meets another girl? What if my best friend leaves and forgets all about me? Or even, what if when I get back, everyone has moved on and forgotten about me? These fears are common but often a simple discussion is the best way to hash out what these next 8 months will mean and how you plan to stay connected with the people you love while you or they (or both) are abroad.

Although the thought of not seeing your closest friends for a semester may be traumatic at first there are still many ways to maintain the friendships and to keep each other updated on your lives. Maybe create a LL conference with your group of friends (both abroad and staying at Emory) so you can easily keep everyone in the know. Mass e-mails may feel impersonal but when you don’t have daily DUC conversations to look forward to, this is often a good alternative. For both those going abroad and staying at Emory, junior year offers a great opportunity to make new friends and develop new relationships. While being “left behind” may seem more difficult at first, those staying at Emory can look to other social groups to develop new relationships. Joining new clubs, spending more time with friends from classes or a greek organization may be ways to broaden your social circle for the rest of your Emory experience.

For those of you concerned about your romantic relationship abroad it is important to sit down and have a serious conversation before anyone leaves the country for their foreign adventures. It is crucial to establish beforehand what your “status” is so that no one is hurt or confused by the situation down the road. Many couples choose to take a break while abroad while others decide it is best for them to stay together. It is up to each individual couple to decide what works best for them but it is important to be realistic about the situation. Communication and finding time to connect is inevitably going to be more difficult. Between time zone differences, differing schedules and difficulties with internet/phone services it is likely that the time you are able to speak with one another will be limited. Expectations must be adjusted to reflect the new realities of the situation. If staying together is the right decision for you, honesty and trust are key. Whether you decide to take a break or stay together it is crucial to establish what your expectations are and what is and isn’t acceptable while you two are apart.

            Once you have discussed all of this there are several ways to keep in touch. For those of you not already in the know, skype is your best friend while abroad. Skype is a free downloadable service similar to AIM or other messenger services. Skype allows you not only to “chat” but also to call any other skype member online through your computer to their computer anywhere in the world. You can also use skype to call cell phones or landlines for a far cheaper rate. There are also similar programs through yahoo messenger and google talk. Although it takes more work out of the country, there are still ways to talk even when you’re 10,849 miles apart.

            Going abroad offers the chance for mind-expanding experiences and often opens your eyes to the world in a way that is not possible in any other circumstance. For those that stay at Emory, junior year is a great time to make new friends and see a different side of the social scene, which may benefit you for the rest of your Emory career. Although the anxiety accompanying this junior transition may initially seem rough, honesty and communication may help to ease the situation.