Going Abroad: How to Maintain Relationships While 10,879 Miles Apart

As the end of the year rapidly approaches many sophomores are preparing to say good-bye to Emory not just for the summer but for an entire semester after that. For many, the prospect of saying good-bye to roommates, friends, and boyfriends/girlfriends for the next 8 months may be stressful, traumatic, and tense. Additionally, there may be an element of anxiety and uncertainty about how relationships may change in this time span. What if my boyfriend goes abroad and meets another girl? What if my best friend leaves and forgets all about me? Or even, what if when I get back, everyone has moved on and forgotten about me? These fears are common but often a simple discussion is the best way to hash out what these next 8 months will mean and how you plan to stay connected with the people you love while you or they (or both) are abroad.

Three’s Company or Just Annoying? Dealing With an Unplanned Roommate

We recieved this dilemma on our gmail account. Please keep them coming!

Q: My roommate’s boyfriend practically lives in our house and does his laundry and showers here. My roommates and I don’t know how to address the situation because it affects our water bill and we are all paying for it. What should we do?

            Living off campus has its ups and downs.  While you are free from the candle and microwave restrictions of the dorms, living with friends is not always easy.  Dealing with an unplanned roommate, like a boyfriend or girlfriend of one of your roommates, is definitely among the most challenging situations of off-campus life.  Whether this “extra” roommate is increasing your monthly utility bill or dominating couch space, you can get very irritated.  It makes sense that you would feel both frustrated and confused about this situation.  It is not fair that you have to absorb the costs of someone else’s intake.  On the other hand, roommate spats are delicate matters because you don’t want to create tension.  It is obvious that this issue is really bothering you and might even be effecting your relationship with your roommate, class work, or personal relationships. 

Relationship Testers: The Spring Break Dilemma

                                

Ah, spring is in the air and images of bikinis and beautiful sunsets replace the dull monotony of midterms. Cancun, Cabo, Panama City, wherever your destination, Spring Break seems to have been invented for the college student. It does, pose a problem, however. Whether you have been in a relationship for 3 days, 3 months, or 3 years, if you and your lover are parting ways for this week of mayhem, shit is bound to hit the fan unless you apply plenty of love block.

While there are probably less than 2 percent of lovers who have complete and unfaltering trust in their other half, the rest of us delve into spring break debauchery with unequivocal doubt. What if Michael meets that drunken freshman hottie in a plaid bikini that just can’t say no? Oh no, my girlfriend is going to the same beach as the Varsity Basketball player who bumped into her towel clad on their freshman hall! These thoughts can plague even the most savvy of beach goers.

Q: Is it alright to cry?

          The video below is from a 1970s self-affirmation video entitled, “Free To Be… You and Me.”  I thought of it the other day when I was having a conversation with one of my male friends who was talking about ”how weird it was” that our professor got teary in class when talking about the death of a friend. This comment spawned a conversation about who it was acceptable to cry in front of and what things were ”worthy” of tears. My answer is always, “It’s alright to cry!” 

It’s alright to cry

What does college mean today?

                When is the last time you took a class simply because you wanted to try something new? Have you tried a novel thing lately? Most likely the answer to both of these questions is no. It is often a struggle to fully experience emerging adulthood while at Emory.

Emerging adulthood is the period from the ages of 18-25, during which people are supposed to explore their identity and are free to try different lifestyles. Parsons (1942) describes our role during this time as a roleless one. We are not yet tied down to a family or profession and thus better able to take risks. During this time most people leave their parent’s home and live in different places from year to year. The focus of the emerging adulthood is not the future, rather on one’s current development and exploration is of utmost importance.

Q: Did I have to get pneumonia to realize I needed slow down?

It started like any other flu I have ever had: pain behind my eyes, body aches, and a general feeling of utter crappiness.  It even progressed like a normal flu bug: fever, chills, nausea, and more feelings of utter crappiness. What a fantastic time to have the flu! With midterms approaching, and Valentines Day and other fun social events to attend, I resolved to beat this sucker into submission and keep plugging along. Until early one Monday morning, I had a 104 fever and my mother advised me to go to the Emergency Room, lest my brain fry like bacon. After a five-hour stint at the ER, I came out hydrated, X-rayed, and slapped with the diagnosis of “Viral Syndrome” just like “every other student seen in the last three weeks.”  With prescriptions for Vicodin (I don’t know why, because I didn’t complain of muscle pain) and 800mg ibuprofen in hand, I left thinking, “Good, now that’s over, I can get back to things.”  Man was I wrong.

Relationship Video

Long Distance Relationships

Q: Is it possible to have a long distance relationship at Emory? Because mine’s driving me crazy.

Relationships in any college situation are more difficult than they were in high school. From an academic perspective, college is so demanding that it is sometimes difficult to prioritize the maintenance of our relationships. In addition to the anxiety of school, the social pressures and stressors only make things more difficult. Meeting new people drunk on Eagle Row, or even bumping into that unexpected stranger in a towel on your hall might throw a monkey wrench into your perfect idea of a relationship.

Considering all of this, having to deal with infinite issues on campus will certainly put strains on your relationship, be it a local relationship or long-distance. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is also in college, they are definitely experiencing the same things you are. Maybe it’s nice to find comfort in that, or it might scare you shitless. The last thing you might want to picture is your high school sweetheart bumping into the point guard of the basketball team in his towel on her hall. With so many unknowns about your partner’s social experience at college, you might begin to feel insecure.

Welcome: We’re all Ears

College is a time of constant transition. New classes, new friends, new boundaries and new responsibilities perpetuate this trend. While change often results in positive growth and personal development it is often accompanied with stress and anxiety. This general college stress can be intensified by the atmosphere that dominates Emory’s campus.

Being a student at Emory allows constant opportunities to challenge oneself, expand one’s worldview and gain a greater understanding of the world around them. The prospects available to Emory students are numerous and the Atlanta area provides constant stimulation and opportunity. Emory students are typically highly motivated and take advantage of resources including study abroad opportunities, on-campus organizations, and Atlanta area internships. Yet in such a highly motivated atmosphere, all of our obligations can seem overwhelming and sometimes stifle self-exploration in favor of being on “the right track.”